Nation

Singaporean Woman Expresses Burnout from Family Financial Support: “I Don’t Want to Be Their Banker”

2025-01-13

Author: Nur

Introduction

In a candid social media revelation, a Singaporean woman earning S$3,600 per month has voiced her overwhelming stress from financially supporting her family back home. The woman, who relocated to Singapore seven years ago for her studies, shared her experience on Reddit's r/askSingapore, where she described a growing sense of burnout from her situation.

Background

Having benefited from a fully sponsored education program by the Singapore government, she noted that her parents had never provided financial assistance during her academic journey. After securing a job in the healthcare sector four years ago, she began sending money to support her family, particularly as her two younger brothers were still in college. Complicating matters, her father, a businessman, faced an inconsistent income.

Challenges with Siblings

Her concerns extended to her older sister, who also works in Singapore. Describing her sister’s financial instability and irresponsible spending habits, she revealed, “Sometimes, she needs to borrow my money to pay rent and daily necessities.” Initially, she felt a sense of joy in helping her family, but now she is increasingly frustrated, stating, “I feel burnt out... I have an elder sister, but she won’t even help me support my family.”

Feelings of Inadequacy

The woman expressed fear that she is falling behind her peers, noting that conversations online often highlight individuals earning significantly more than her. “I see people talking about making $10K a month and having $200K++ in savings. I just feel very behind and lost,” she lamented, seeking advice on how to overcome her feelings of inadequacy.

Community Support and Advice

In response, fellow Redditors encouraged her to be mindful of social media portrayals and to avoid comparing herself to others. One user reminded the group that happiness does not hinge on income, declaring, “There are people out there with far less who are genuinely happy with their lives.” Others echoed similar sentiments, cautioning her against the detrimental effects of “humblebragging” found online.

Reexamining Financial Responsibilities

On the family front, several commenters suggested that she reconsider the extent of her financial support. They emphasized that it is not her responsibility to rectify others' financial missteps, even if they are family members. Advice also included creating a detailed monthly budget to ensure her financial health isn't compromised when providing assistance to her family.

Expert Recommendations

Budgeting expert Miriam Caldwell highlighted the necessity of understanding both her expenses and those of her family. She recommended listing out fixed and variable costs to ascertain how much can be realistically shared. Caldwell emphasized, “By understanding your expenses and theirs, you can make more informed decisions about providing assistance without jeopardizing your own financial well-being.”

Conclusion

This heartfelt disclosure underscores the challenges many expatriates face in managing familial expectations, financial obligations, and personal mental health. As societal pressures heighten, it serves as a reminder that financial independence may carry additional burdens, particularly for those who balance supporting their loved ones while forging their own paths in foreign lands.