Introduction

SINGAPORE: A Reddit user recently sparked a lively debate among Singaporeans by posing the question, “How much pocket money should a husband give to his wife?” in the r/SGHenry forum. The post, which garnered much attention, outlined a common dilemma in modern relationships.

The Dilemma

The man, who described himself as earning approximately S$2,000 to S$3,000 more than his wife monthly, shared that both he and his wife contribute to their household finances through a joint account used primarily for mortgage payments, childcare expenses, and other shared costs. However, following a conversation in which his wife hinted at an allowance given by other husbands, he began to question whether he should adopt the same practice.

He wondered aloud whether allocating 10-20% of his salary or a fixed monthly amount would be appropriate and sought the community’s advice to navigate this modern marriage issue.

Community Reactions

The responses he received were overwhelmingly negative towards the notion of giving his wife an allowance, especially given that she also works and contributes financially to their home. Many Redditors expressed their disbelief, emphasizing that in a two-income household, the idea of a husband providing pocket money seemed outdated and unnecessary.

One comment encapsulated the sentiment: “If she is working, ZERO!” Several commenters remarked on how this perception mirrored a bygone era when men were expected to be the sole earners, suggesting that such financial dynamics are no longer relevant in contemporary relationships.

Modern Perspectives

A notable contributor highlighted this issue, stating, “Not sure where this 1980s mindset is coming from. Is this just fun money, or is it actually going toward household expenses? It’s 2024, not 40 years ago.” Many expressed that discussions around shared expenses and individual wants should occur openly rather than relying on a monthly allowance.

Interestingly, women and stay-at-home mothers chimed in to echo similar sentiments. Their experiences suggested that they never requested allowances from their spouses, instead opting for transparent dialogues about purchases or larger expenses when needed. One respondent shared, “I have never asked for an allowance from my husband, even when I cut my pay by half doing part-time hours for the sake of caregiving.”

Suggestions for Communication

A few commenters advised the man to approach his wife openly about her feelings regarding a potential allowance. They suggested that she might feel her contributions are insufficient, and a calm discussion could yield better understanding and solutions.

Related Discussion on Family Finances

In a separate but intriguing incident, a woman took to Reddit's 'Ask Singapore' forum to seek advice concerning her boyfriend's mother, who expressed the desire to have her name included in their upcoming Build-To-Order (BTO) flat. She shared that the mother justified her request by claiming it was necessary for protection against future family disputes should her son and the woman ever divorce.

Conclusion

These discussions reflect broader communal values in Singapore regarding finances, relationships, and evolving gender roles. As debates continue, it’s evident that the perspectives on financial responsibilities and allowances in relationships are shifting dramatically, echoing the progressive attitudes in many modern societies today.