The journey of confronting cancer is undeniably a wake-up call that humbles and transforms one’s perspective on life. As I grapple with my diagnosis, I find myself having to depend on crowdfunding for my treatment. While the generosity of others fills me with gratitude, it also accompanies a heavy blanket of shame, exposing my vulnerability in admitting that I cannot bear this burden alone.

A close friend reassured me, saying, “People want to help. They may not have much to offer, but they genuinely care about you and want to assist in any way they can.” This sentiment resonated deeply with me, as the support I've received—through emails, texts, and social media messages—has brought me solace during my toughest moments. On days where tears flow freely, the words of comfort saved in my memories serve as reminders of human kindness.

To provide some context, I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, triple positive, Stage 2B breast cancer. In simple terms, this means the cancer has spread beyond my breast ducts and infiltrated nearby lymph nodes. My treatment will be comprehensive, encompassing chemotherapy to shrink the tumors, followed by surgery, radiation, and long-term medication for the next five to ten years.

What complicates my case further is the fact that my tumor is triple positive, making it reactive to estrogen, progesterone, and the human epidermal growth factor receptor 2 (HER2). Hence, my treatment must effectively target these elements to improve my prognosis. The drug Herceptin plays a crucial role in this plan, as it attaches to HER2 receptors on cancer cells to halt their growth while engaging my immune system to fight back. Unfortunately, the cost of Herceptin, although it has become slightly more affordable due to biosimilars, still amounts to several thousand ringgit over 17 cycles.

As I navigate this daunting journey, I am often met with well-meaning inquiries about why I lack emergency savings, insurance, or family support. The truth is, the existence of pre-existing conditions renders getting insurance extremely challenging, and the financial burdens of life have left little room for savings. Like many, I have frequently lived paycheck to paycheck, with the responsibility of supporting my family often overshadowing my own financial independence.

Nevertheless, my experience is not unique. Many individuals face similar challenges—juggling a life-altering medical diagnosis amid financial instability. I acknowledge the emotions of fear, shame, and despair that accompany such a reality. However, recognizing and voicing these struggles is vital.

To those grappling with similar circumstances, I urge you to embrace courage. Seek assistance from friends or family if public appeals feel daunting. Write to your local representatives or reach out to community organizations that may provide support you didn’t know existed.

Take heart in knowing that despite the depth of despair, there is a path forward. Life is still beautiful, worth fighting for, even when it might appear that surrender is an easier option.

As I prepare to embark on treatment at Kuala Lumpur Hospital, I am filled with hope and warmth from the kindness of my community. Thank you all for your unwavering support and for the years of companionship through my writings. Your encouragement is a blessing I am deeply grateful for, reminding me that I am not alone in this struggle.

Wish me luck as I tackle this new chapter in my life, with the hope that I can return to my usual light-hearted self soon.