SINGAPORE

A caregiver’s alarming behavior has left her employer at an emotional crossroads, prompting her to seek advice from the online community. In a post shared on the popular Facebook group 'MDW in Singapore', the worried employer detailed troubling patterns exhibited by her domestic helper, who has been part of their family for 1.5 years.

While the helper appeared to care for their baby adequately during her employment, the employer recently observed a series of boundary violations that led to growing unease. Most concerning was the helper’s unauthorized outings while the family was away on holiday. Their home surveillance cameras captured three instances where the helper left the premises for hours without informing them, raising significant safety concerns.

Moreover, the helper has blatantly disregarded established house rules. She continued to order personal packages despite strict instructions against it and even invited a friend—another domestic worker—over without seeking permission from her employer.

Further complicating the situation, the employer noted that the helper had changed her phone number three times since beginning her job, a move that only heightened their suspicion and worry about her intentions.

“We have been supportive through her illness, covered her hospital bills, and streamlined household tasks to ease her burden,” the employer expressed. “Yet, her actions contradict her assurances of compliance and respect for our household.”

Torn between empathy and the need for boundaries, the employer took to social media, asking for insights from others who faced similar dilemmas: “How would you handle this situation?”

The reactions from the online community were diverse. Some commenters were quick to advise termination of the contract. “This is a blatant disregard for your house rules. You must act now!” voiced one concerned follower. Another said, “The ever-changing phone numbers suggest deeper issues—please reconsider keeping her.”

Conversely, a group of defenders rallied around the helper, questioning the harshness of the employer's expectations. They argued that as an adult, the helper should have some freedom, especially when the household is empty.

“Why can’t she step out while you’re away? She’s not a prisoner!” stated one commenter, while another added, “Changing phone numbers is common for many—perhaps she’s merely seeking better plans.”

Encouraged by differing opinions, observers urged the employer to communicate directly with the helper to clarify her side of the story before making any substantial decisions.

To foster better employer-helper relations, experts from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) highlighted the importance of open dialogue. They suggest proactive communication as a first step, advising employers to reach out to organizations such as the Association of Employment Agencies (Singapore) or the Centre for Domestic Employees for mediation, should misunderstandings persist.

As this scenario uncovers the complexities of working relationships in domestic spaces, it serves as a reminder that communication can often lead to clarity and resolutions that benefit both parties involved.

Keep an eye on this developing story as we await more insights into the challenges faced by both employers and domestic helpers in Singapore!