Introduction

SINGAPORE: A woman earning S$3,600 a month recently opened up on social media about her emotions regarding the financial burden of supporting her family back home, stating, “I don’t want to be their banker.”

Background

In her candid post on r/askSingapore, she revealed that she moved to Singapore seven years ago to pursue her studies, a journey funded entirely by a government scholarship. After securing a job in the healthcare sector four years later, she initially found joy in supporting her family but has since begun to feel overwhelmed.

Family Dynamics

With two brothers still in college and a father running a business with an inconsistent income, she took it upon herself to help. The situation was complicated further by her older sister, who also works in Singapore but relies on commission-based pay and often asks for financial help. “My sister is irresponsible with money; sometimes, she needs to borrow from me just to make ends meet,” she explained.

Feelings of Burnout

She expressed her feelings of frustration, saying, “At first, I was happy to help, but lately, I’m feeling burnt out, especially since I have an elder sister who won’t help share the load.” Despite being a frugal individual with considerable savings, she doesn’t want to fall into the role of the family banker indefinitely.

Social Comparisons

Moreover, she voiced her anxiety about not measuring up to others, impacted by the social media climate where peers boast of salaries in the $10K range and impressive savings. “I feel very behind and lost,” she reflected, moving the discussion towards feelings of inadequacy that many can relate to but find difficult to voice.

Community Response

In response, fellow Redditors advised her to avoid comparisons with others online, noting that personal happiness does not hinge on one’s salary or societal status. One user underscored, “There are countless individuals thriving with far less than what you earn; true fulfillment comes from appreciating what you have rather than what others flaunt.”

Financial Advice

Others suggested she reconsider her financial contributions to her family, emphasizing that being responsible with her hard-earned money is essential. “It’s not your obligation to fix everyone’s problems, even if they are family,” one commenter said, advising her to create a monthly budget to evaluate her expenses before providing support.

Expert Recommendations

Miriam Caldwell, a budgeting expert, offers practical advice for anyone in similar situations. She suggests determining all monthly expenses—fixed costs such as rent, utility bills, and transportation—and variable costs including groceries and entertainment. By plotting out her finances and comparing them with her family’s needs, she can make informed decisions about how much help is feasible without jeopardizing her own financial situation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while the pressures of financial expectations from family members can weigh heavily on individuals, establishing boundaries and understanding one’s financial capabilities can lead to healthier dynamics and personal well-being. This story serves as a reminder of the delicate balance between familial love and self-preservation in the modern world.