A Life-Changing Awakening

At the age of 37, I had an epiphany that would change my life forever: I discovered I was neurodivergent. This revelation came unexpectedly while seeking help for my son, who was struggling in school.

Professional Blindness and Family Dynamics

Throughout my career as a special educator, I dedicated years to supporting neurodiverse students, all the while being completely unaware of my own neurodivergent traits. My son, with his boundless energy, seemed different from his siblings, but at first glance, he didn’t exhibit typical signs of ADHD or autism. He excelled in speech and social interactions, so I didn’t realize how much he needed support until he entered the classroom.

The Turning Point

Things came to a head when a simple request from his teacher spiraled into chaos. He was asked to demonstrate his math solutions in multiple ways, and instead, he bolted from the classroom. How could a child, who appeared so confident, be acting out so profoundly? His responses to authority, like arguing the safety of wandering the hallways, struck a chord within me.

Seeking Understanding and Diagnosis

As we sought assistance from his psychiatrist, we focused on helping him navigate his emotions, make friends, and excel in school. Upon receiving his diagnosis of autism and ADHD at six years old, the psychiatrist proposed evaluating me too. Initially hesitant—an accomplished single mother juggling three kids and a career—I eventually decided to go for it.

A Shared Neurodivergent Journey

To my astonishment, the evaluation confirmed that I also had both ADHD and autism. Recent studies highlight a fascinating connection: between 40% and 70% of individuals with autism are also diagnosed with ADHD, suggesting a strong familial link. The psychiatrist's insights into my internal hyperactivity were eye-opening—what I perceived as simply being busy and efficient was actually a reflection of my neurodivergent traits.

Reevaluating My Identity

As I processed this diagnosis, I realized that my compulsive need to organize my life and manage my anxiety through extreme fitness and ritualistic cleaning behaviors pointed to my condition. I initially struggled to reconcile my diagnosis with my professional aptitude in language and academia. But my psychiatrist reassured me that my experiences were common among late-diagnosed women, stressing that linguistic skills don’t negate neurodivergence.

Adapting and Connecting

Reflecting on my social interactions shed light on the effort I put in daily to adapt—I learned to read body language, mimic gestures, and memorize appropriate responses, all in an attempt to fit in seamlessly with those around me. My doctor validated my hard work, emphasizing that most typically develop these social skills without conscious effort.

Embracing Our Neurodivergent Identities

Today, I have embraced my neurodivergent identity, forging connections with others who share my experiences. With the support of newfound friends and colleagues, my medication has helped calm the internal chaos, allowing me to focus more gently and reduce anxiety. I am learning the art of listening and managing my time more wisely, which grants me greater fulfillment in my projects.

A Journey of Gratitude and Connection

Reflecting on my son’s journey, I realize that our diagnoses have woven our lives together in ways I could never have imagined. We are both learning to navigate our unique thought processes, to support one another in embracing our strengths, and to find joy in the paths we tread. This journey of discovery, although fraught with challenges, has become a source of profound gratitude for our family. Who knew that in seeking to understand my son, I would unlock an invigorating understanding of myself?