As grandparents, we all desire a warm and loving bond with our grandchildren, hoping they feel cherished and safe in our company. Unfortunately, sometimes our intentions can miss the mark. Unintentional comments—made either out of habit or misplaced affection—can inadvertently create an uncomfortable atmosphere for our grandkids. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and president of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, emphasizes the importance of being mindful in our communication. After all, the words we choose hold immense power in shaping how our grandchildren view themselves and their relationship with us.

So, what do experts recommend we avoid saying? Below, we’ve compiled phrases that you might want to reconsider, along with healthier alternatives.

1. "Don't tell your parents... "

Encouraging secretive behavior undermines parental authority and can contribute to feelings of insecurity in your grandkids. Instead, emphasize honesty and openness. You might say, “Let’s share our fun day with your parents together!”

2. "You’re getting so big! Have you put on weight?"

Comments about a child's appearance or weight can lead to harmful self-image issues. It's best to steer clear of these remarks altogether. Consider saying, “I've missed seeing you! What new hobbies have you been exploring?”

3. "Wow, you ate more than I did!"

Making observations about a child's eating habits can cause confusion or shame around food. Instead, focus on healthy habits: “I love how you listen to your body! Let’s enjoy what makes us feel good!”

4. "You’re so spoiled."

Labeling children as spoiled can ignore the broader context of their behavior and parenting dynamics. Rather than making this judgment, remind yourself that such behavior is often normal for their developmental stage. Instead, consider discussing feelings: “It seems like you’re feeling really excited! Tell me more about what you like!”

5. "You better come over here and give me a hug or a kiss!"

Pressuring children into physical affection can contradict their personal boundaries. Instead, foster consent with a gentle, “I’d really love a hug if you’re okay with it. If not, that’s perfectly fine too!”

6. "Your parents are wrong about..."

Critiquing their parents can put children in a difficult position and create rifts in family relationships. Keep your opinions to yourself, and if you have concerns, approach the parents directly instead.

It's essential to realize that it's never too late to enhance the way we connect with our grandchildren. Generating an atmosphere of respect and open dialogue not only builds trust but will also encourage them to express themselves honestly. By tuning into their feelings and needs, you’re laying the groundwork for a heartwarming relationship that can last for generations.

So, grandparents, take a moment to reflect on your words; a little mindfulness can go a long way toward nurturing the bonds with your precious grandchildren!