
Meet Clippy: The Wildly Entertaining, But Often Confounding, Robot Attack Dog from Temu!
2025-06-01
Author: Ming
In the wild world of tech gadgets, few things can rival the bizarre experience of testing a robot dog that not only tells stories but also, believe it or not, pretends to urinate! After 15 years of tech reviews, I can confidently say Clippy, as my son named him, takes the cake for the weirdest device I've encountered.
Clippy arrived in a slightly battered box, proudly branded with 'FIRE BULLETS PET.' Behind the protective plastic, this plastic marvel looked innocent enough. But once I got my hands on him, I quickly realized I was in for a ride.
First Impressions: What Is This Thing?
For a mere $50—cheaper if you forgo the pellet-launching feature—I might have anticipated something miraculous. Instead, I unboxed a collection of lightweight, cheap plastic that hardly screamed durability. The body, although sturdy enough, was supported by spindly legs that looked like they were made for a toy and not a ‘robotic attack dog.’
With a turret atop resembling something out of a sci-fi flick, Clippy sent vibes of both menace and amusement. The controller? A helium balloon in disguise, light and awkwardly shaped like an Xbox controller but with buttons that seemed to relish their own uselessness.
Powering Clippy Up: The Journey to Life
My initial attempts to power up Clippy were met with frustration—the on/off button remained unresponsive. Turns out, the battery was disconnected to prevent it from draining in transit. With a quick fix, Clippy sprang to life with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for a toddler on a sugar high.
And wow, was he loud! The built-in speakers screeched a mixture of odd sound effects that left me searching for a mute button that didn’t exist.
Clippy's Odd Talents: A Rollercoaster of Antics
Of course, I pressed the 'urinate' button first. Not only did Clippy comply with a raised leg, but he also accompanied the act with cheerful whistling and the sound of water trickling into a toilet bowl. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder, I tried another button for a handstand. Instead of a graceful pose, Clippy face-planted, followed by what suspiciously looked like electric seizures.
A Comprehensive Look at Clippy's Functions
Despite having a hefty 17 functions, Clippy’s range of capabilities leaves a lot to be desired. His 'kung fu' display resulted in some unexpected lounge music infiltrating my living room. And when I pressed 'swimming,' let’s just say Clippy rolled around like he was trying out for a very misguided dance competition.
His push-up performance was accompanied by the iconic riff of 'Eye of the Tiger'—if that’s your jam, you’ll get a kick out of it. But be warned, Clippy is definitely not waterproof!
While mixing functions proved amusing, controlling Clippy was another story. He struggled to turn and often toppled over, continually needing rescuing from my living room furniture.