
Ghosting a Decade-Long Friend: Is It the Right Move?
2025-05-28
Author: Jia
Navigating a Friendship on the Rocks
In a heartfelt letter to advice columnist Prudence, an individual reveals their struggle with a decade-long friendship with a person named Sarah. Once a vital source of support during tough times, the relationship has shifted drastically. After seeking help for mental health issues, the writer no longer craves the constant validation Sarah provided and feels uncomfortable with the depth of personal knowledge Sarah requires.
Growth or Guilt?
While the bond was once strong, it has now become strained, revolving around awkward conversations about mutual friends rather than genuine connection. Concerned about feelings of guilt for potentially abandoning Sarah now that their needs have changed, the writer finds themselves in a dilemma: Should they distance themselves more to avoid discomfort, or confront Sarah directly about their evolving feelings?
Advice on Closing Chapters
Prudence offers a thoughtful response, encouraging open communication. Instead of ignoring Sarah or abruptly withdrawing, she suggests that the writer steer conversations toward lighter topics—perhaps asking about hobbies like pickleball or seeking recommendations for true crime documentaries. By controlling the discussion, they might rediscover a more enjoyable aspect of their friendship.
Honesty is the Best Policy
If the friendship still feels unfulfilling after trying this approach, Prudence advocates for honesty. It is vital to express that the writer feels less inclined to share intimate details or engage in gossip. Acknowledging Sarah's past support while gently asserting the need for distance can pave the way for a respectful closure.
The Challenge of Change
Often, friendships evolve, and it’s normal to find yourself growing apart. Being transparent can be daunting, but it is necessary for both parties. The writer’s feelings aren’t wrong; they simply reflect their personal growth and the need for boundaries.
Your Own Journey Matters
In the end, prioritizing your well-being and emotional health over lingering guilt is crucial. Friendships should be uplifting and reciprocative, not sources of stress. If the friendship no longer serves you, embracing change may be the best option.