The Onion Acquires Infowars

In an unexpected turn of events, the satirical news outlet The Onion has successfully acquired Infowars, the controversial media platform founded by right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, at a court-mandated auction. The exact purchase amount remains undisclosed but is widely speculated to be a fraction of the media organization's previous valuation.

The Onion's winning bid was reportedly supported by the families of victims from the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, who had previously won a staggering $1.5 billion defamation lawsuit against Jones due to his false claims surrounding the tragedy. A Texas judge mandated the auction to facilitate the liquidation of Jones’ assets.

Jones, who launched Infowars in 1999, has vowed to continue his broadcasts on an alternative platform despite this significant setback. In a rambling declaration posted on social media, he characterized the acquisition as a “total attack on free speech,” claiming it was a manifestation of a larger plot against American freedoms. “I’ll be here until the lights go off,” he insisted, framing the situation as part of a “New World Order” conspiracy aimed at silencing dissent.

The Onion has plans to revamp Infowars, promising to bring humor and satire into the mix. Ben Collins, CEO of The Onion’s parent company, shared their vision: “We aim to create a very funny, very stupid website that captures the absurdity of the past content while appealing to a broader audience.”

Accompanying the announcement, The Onion published a tongue-in-cheek article describing Infowars as a site that “manufactured anger and radicalized the most vulnerable,” adding humor to a serious public health concern. The satirical tone of the piece included jokes about their acquisition strategy, suggesting they had outsmarted Jones into selling at “less than one trillion dollars.”

Lawyers representing the Sandy Hook families expressed their support for the acquisition. Chris Mattei, an attorney for the families, hailed the move as a public service that would significantly reduce Jones's power to cause further harm. Robbie Parker, father of Sandy Hook victim Emilie, remarked, “This is the accountability we've fought for—the end of Alex Jones's reign of misinformation.”

In a parallel development, Everytown for Gun Safety, an advocacy group for gun control, has announced an advertising partnership with the newly revamped Infowars website, highlighting the continuing conversation around gun violence and misinformation.

Jones’s notoriety began in the 1990s as a fringe broadcaster in Austin, Texas, before skyrocketing in popularity with his mix of conspiracy theories and sensational claims. Infowars primarily monetizes through sales of health products and supplements, which have been sources of ongoing scrutiny regarding misleading health claims.

This acquisition, however, marks a pivotal moment in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook tragedy. Following the school shooting that claimed the lives of twenty children and six adults, Jones repeatedly questioned the legitimacy of the event, labeling it a hoax and pushing dubious conspiracy narratives. These harmful assertions led to harassment of victims’ families, many of whom faced extreme abuse from his followers.

Although Jones later admitted the shooting did happen, he has continued to contest the defamation verdicts against him, maintaining that his comments were protected under the First Amendment. However, as legal ramifications continued to unfold, he filed for bankruptcy in 2022, and a judge ordered the liquidation of his assets, including properties, vehicles, and other valuables totaling about $8.6 million.

This acquisition and the accompanying legal battles signal a key shift in the online discourse about misinformation—a movement towards accountability that many hope will deter similar conspiracy-driven media from gaining traction in the future. Stay tuned as this story develops and follow The Onion’s humorous take on an event that has sparked significant social and legal discussions across the nation!